How many of you can honestly say that you are 100% unafraid to be unapologetically you in any situation? Say what you think, throw out seemingly crazy ideas, lean into shame, unafraid to be ostracized from the group….you name it.
If you are like me, you might have thought that this is true, but I’ve recently discovered some fears around failure and judgement that have held me back in the authentically me department.
Why is this so important? It’s because each of us is uniquely creative and one of us might have the answer to some critically important question. No two brains make connections in the same way because no two humans have had exactly the same experiences that have created their brain’s prediction loops.
What a gift this is.
One of the biggest ways we dampen our authenticity is by comparing ourselves to others. Why do we think that other people are so much more talented than we are, smarter than we are, or luckier than we are? Why are we so afraid to just be our own authentic, unique self? If we try to be just like others, we limit the uniqueness that we all have to make connections that no one else can make.
It’s our default brain programming that drives us to do this. Thousands of years ago it was a very bad thing not to be part of a group. Groups provided safety in numbers, food and shelter. The brain evolved to associate fitting in with the group to be equal to safety. Comparing and acting like other members of the group was a necessity. The primitive brain with it’s motivational triad does everything in its power to avoid danger and keep you safe.
So what’s the real danger of not fitting in these days? An emotion. That’s it. You are in danger of feeling an emotion. It might be shame, it might be fear, it might be humiliation, it might be feeling left out, or it might be judgement.
You can override your primitive programming by deciding that there is no emotion that you cannot handle. If that is true, then there will be absolutely no reason to be afraid of being your authentic, unique self. There would be no need to compare yourself to others with a sense of “lack”. You could genuinely just be happy for their accomplishments and perhaps just learn from them with a sense of curiosity.
If you are safe to be your authentic, unique self, what would you do or be or create? What lights you on fire and drives your passion? Your “work” in the world IS uniquely you with your authenticity and gifts.
Create something amazing my friends. Be bold. Stop trying to be like everyone else and embrace your own uniqueness and creativity. Use the power of your own unique predictive engine to make connections that no one else in the world can make. Solve a problem that needs to be solved.
You’ll be amazed at how much less you will stress and how much more joy you will create when you are unapologetically you.
PS: If you are ready to unleash your own authentic leadership style and stop trying to fit into the mold, I’m your coach. We’ll figure out what’s holding you back from expressing your true self so you can choose to let go of some rules that are holding you back. Get in touch with me here.
Holly Lewis Coaching 