Fear of Looking Stupid

Have you ever held back from asking for help because you didn’t want to look or feel stupid? 

I’ve done this all my life. I start to feel unsafe when I don’t know something and I’m talking to a person who I’ve deemed to be an authority or expert. I immediately change the subject back to one where I know what in the heck is going on. I also don’t ask for help when I need it because I think I should already know the answer or I can find the answer in a book. (Books are non-judgemental, you see.)

My coach asked me if I could be safe in the Not Knowing. I immediately associated this to the Upside Down in Stranger Things. For those of you that don’t know, the Upside Down is another reality. The Not Knowing is another reality for me too. It doesn’t mean it’s bad, it’s just different.

I ran through a worst case scenario exercise for being in the Not Knowing. Here’s what I came up with:

🙃 My heart will race

🙃 My throat will constrict

🙃 My face will get red

🙃 I will be humiliated

🙃 People will judge me as stupid

I then ran through a best case scenario for being in the Not Knowing:

🙂 Not knowing is necessary to learn something new

🙂 Not knowing is necessary to gain a new perspective

🙂 Not knowing is required for curiosity

🙂 Not knowing is necessary to ask better questions

🙂 Not knowing is the price for growth

Hmmm. It seems that the Not Knowing is the place to be. That’s where all the good stuff happens.

How much energy are you using to avoid the Not Knowing? What are you forfeiting in your life?

PS: If you want to learn how to manage your mind, time and energy to get to a place of work-life balance that is unique to you, I can teach you the principles to get you there. I have a spots open to start figuring it out. Stop letting your fear of looking stupid hold you back. Schedule your free session now.

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