I can’t relax until everything I decided to do today is done.
This is the thought several of my clients have had this week. I have it all the time as well. It might just be the calling card of the high achiever.
It’s a very all or nothing statement.
It’s driving us to push ourselves to accomplish our to dos, no matter if it’s kind or helpful or even true that it “has” to get done today.
There’s a fine line between self accountability and using your to do list as a perfection and worthiness weapon.
I grew up with the story that you must honor your word, no matter what, and you must not half ass anything. My clients have similar stories.
While this story led me and my clients to be successful in our chosen careers, it also led us to put enormous pressure on ourselves and cultivate some vicious mean girl talk when to dos didn’t get accomplished.
It’s no wonder I chose to overeat and smoke to relieve the pressure. My brain was trying to save me from exploding.
I’ve decided that I’m not going to use my to do list as a weapon any more. I still have one, but if things happen during the day that prevent me from accomplishing my plan, I will choose to be adaptable and not judge myself any more.
The most important question I ask is, “Am I being kind to myself?”.
If the answer is No, I stop doing it. You should consider this too.
If you want to stop putting such enormous pressure on yourself but you don’t know how, I can help. I offer a free session to figure out what’s in the way of you being calm more than 80% of the time. Schedule one now.