Looking in the Mirror

I’ve been doing some work in the past few weeks on discovering my most common emotional reactions so that I could have a look at the thoughts that might be driving them. I noticed that my top 3 are impatience, irritation, and determination. I decided to have a look at irritation.

I did a thought download every time I was irritated this week.  I wrote down the situation, what happened, what I was thinking, how it felt in my body, etc.  I circled all the thoughts and discovered I am most irritated when I think that other people are worrying about things that are not in their control.

I got coached on the thoughts I was having that led to irritation and my coach helped me see that I was doing the very thing that was irritating me to no end. I was worrying about how other people act and think and I have no control over that. Mind blown.

I did some research on this topic and it turns out that this is called Psychological Projection and it is used as a defense mechanism by the brain. We basically have thoughts about qualities in others that we most dislike about ourselves.

“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part yourself. What isn’t part ourselves doesn’t disturb us.” – Hermann Hesse

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” – Carl Jung

Have you ever noticed that the things that get on your nerves the most is something that you do? I think this might be one of the most humbling discoveries in my process of self-improvement and self-coaching. 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: