I’ve done a lot of thinking this week on the topic of having high expectations for myself and whether or not that is a result of perfectionism or whether it’s just me trying to grow and learn. I’ve come to the conclusion that having high expectations, ambitions and goals is not the same thing as being a perfectionist. Here’s how I got there:
- Perfectionism is a lot about comparing ourselves to others and judging that we are not as good as others. As long as your expectations and goals are not externally driven by comparison to others, then it’s not perfectionism.
- Perfectionism is about the end result only. It comes with all or nothing thinking. As long as our expectations and goals include celebrating our progress, then it’s not perfectionism.
- Perfectionism is about pleasing other people and not taking care of ourselves first. As long as expectations and goals are about what we want and we are minding our self-care, then it’s not perfectionism.
- Perfectionists don’t open up to others about what they are thinking or feeling. I’m making progress on this front as evidenced in this blog. 🙂
- Perfectionists are sometimes harsh critics of others as they hold others to their own unrealistic standards. I’m making progress on this front as well by slowing down my roll and asking myself whether the thought I’m having about someone else is a proper use of my time as I know that I cannot control what other adults do.
I choose to have a growth mindset and to figure out whatever comes my way. What are your thoughts on this topic?