My coach, Corinne Crabtree (www.phit-n-phat.com), uses the Self Coaching Model by Brooke Castillo (https://thelifecoachschool.com/self-coaching-model/). This overarching model has truly helped me peel back all the layers of buffering in which I was engaged. I smoked to buffer feelings of anxiety and stress. I ate to numb the feelings of shame that my nasty internal conversations caused. I worked hard to remove those buffers from my life using the model and other tools to optimize my thoughts.
As a result of removing my go to buffers, I could now hear “Perfect Girl” loud and freaking clear. I started procrastinating big time, which has never been my MO. I’ve always knocked projects out quickly. I couldn’t understand what in the heck was happening. I started to journal my thoughts and that’s when I saw the pattern that I was saying some really awful things to myself. I was calling myself lazy, irresponsible….you name it. I finally figured out that I was using procrastination to buffer my thoughts of inadequacy and doubt.
I find it fascinating that there were all these layers of buffering of which I was totally unaware six months ago. I’m excited to figure out what other buffers I have and slay those too! Coaching has been a godsend for me and I highly recommend it.
I don’t want you to get the impression that “Perfect Girl” is all bad. She taught me some valuable life skills that I will discuss in my next post.